I see you…
Delaying the gratification again
Saying you’re not “allowed” to feel good until ____[insert arbitrary rule]___
When I’m a size 2 THEN I’ll be allowed to feel good!
When earn $20K a month in my biz THEN I’ll be allowed to feel good!
When I have a boyfriend THEN I’ll be allowed to feel good!
THEN AND ONLY THEN!
NOT A SECOND UNTIL THEN!
If I start to feel good before then I need to go REVERSE IT!
I’m not allowed to feel good until I hit my goal!
STOP RIGHT THERE LADY. STOP.
Can we just take a second to marvel: How EFFED UP IS THIS?!
That you are literally blocking yourself from feeling happy until you reach certain outcomes?
If you do this you’re not alone.
Most 1%, high achieving, successful women do this —
Most of us are literally driven to our massive success because feelings of inadequacy — We aren’t enough, and the goal is going to make us “enough”
But then…. WHAT HAPPENS when you hit the goal??
You still don’t feel truly happy inside do you?
In fact, you feel a little EMPTY, don’t you? That you didn’t do MORE?!?
The happiness you think you’ll get when you’re “THERE” doesn’t ever come does it?
So you chase again.
The next goal.
You’re literally addicted to the struggle, in a way.
It’s what drives you to do everything.
This constant feeling of “not quite being there yet” is your safe zone, you don’t really know anything else.
You don’t even really know what it’s like to reach goals from a place of “I’m enough” do you?
I know what this is like, because I was there, always letting my happiness be CONDITIONAL on outcomes.
And I also know that if you carry on like this you are going to stay miserable, panicked, and never truly happy
Even when you get “THERE”
You MUST learn to be OK with the paradox of “I am happy now” AND “I can hit my goal too”
I want you to think about it like this —
- Happiness is your BIRTHRIGHT AS A HUMAN ON THIS PLANET
- You’re SUPPOSED to feel happy ALL the time, it’s not conditional on outcomes.
- If you are driving by feeling inadequate/ not enough you’re never going to be happy…EVER.
- You WILL achieve goals because of WHO YOU ARE as a human. It’s just what you do. Not because you need them to validate you.
It is safe to feel happy now.
It does not mean you have “let your guard down” or you “will never be successful again” or “you’ll turn into one of those lazy people who isn’t motivated”
(Because really, that’s what you’re afraid of isn’t it?)
Trust yourself. It can be hard to trust yourself if you’ve never reached goals without “inadequacy” driving you, but I promise it’s possible.
And when you DETACH self worth & happiness from the outcome… Goals doesn’t stress you out.
They actually come naturally WITHOUT the stress / FEAR / struggle.
The fear, the stress, the struggle, the self-sabotage, the self-loathing, the “not good enough” — it’s really all optional.
It’s a choice you make.
You CAN reach massive success AND feel good enough along the way
This can be hard to understand I know.
But once you get it, it will change your life forever🤯
Are you a 1% woman leader or entrepreneur, struggling to increase your income, influence, and impact? Apply today for #CONQUER my NEW mentorship program to help you conquer your fear and become limitless with succes:
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