Wedding diets. Bridal bootcamps. Crash dieting.
The pressure to look ‘thin’ before your wedding can be intense, and I have seen SO. MANY. brides do extreme things before their wedding just to make their bodies look smaller…. Only to completely ruin their metabolism and re-gain the weight back (and more) within a few months.
When you lose a lot of weight really fast, your body panics. Your metabolism slows down to conserve energy. I have to work HARD with my clients together to heal their metabolism, bring it back up after crash dieting.
Any lasting weight loss after this is going to be S L O W because your metabolism is destroyed, your appetite is crazy, and your hormones are all over the place.
Where does this extreme pressure to be ‘thin’ before your wedding come from?
- Family members. Especially in Indian culture, comments around your body can be intense.
- The ‘thin ideal’ in western media (which is not there in most other cultures).
- The general fact that you are on ‘display’ for a ton of people to look at. It can make you feel like your body is an ‘ornament’ and the purpose of your wedding is to aesthetically please other people. (Remember ladies – your body is an instrument not an ornament!)
- Social media – The pressure to post tons of perfect pictures of you looking ‘perfect’ at your wedding.
In an ideal world, we focus on what our bodies can DO and how they FEEL at these events and don’t even think twice about how they look.
Big events like weddings, beach trips, and more don’t actually NEED to have such a panic around our bodies. (Guys don’t think about their bodies to such an extreme, do they?)
BUT – We’ve been conditioned to feel shame around our bodies at big events like these, and ads from the weight loss industry enhance this panic. Add on top of that social media and an increasingly visual-based, looks-obsessed society, and you have a breeding ground of insecurities just waiting to be capitalized on.
Look: This is Capitalism 101. This is how marketing works and how businesses operate. To be clear: I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with this. This is how we sell cars. Houses. Other objects. We make people feel positive emotions associated with certain ‘objects’ and negative emotions associated with other ‘objects.’
If business did not know how to sell things, our economy would go bankrupt.
But this IS a problem when it comes to the female body, because (1) The female body is not an object, and (2) This directly leads to psychological damage (eating disorders, etc). EDs are almost 100% preventable and linked to distorted ‘thin idea’ for women.
SO. SHOULD YOU LOSE WEIGHT BEFORE YOUR WEDDING?
The media ideal and these messages are not going to go away. It’s your job to understand them and make decisions based on how YOU want to feel.
–> ASK WHY.
- Are you trying to ‘prove something’ to someone?
- Are you trying to seek ‘approval’ from relatives, friends?
- Are you worried what people will think of your body / anxious about all the attention on you?
- Do you feel like you’re ‘unacceptable’ to look at the way you are?
These are all bigger issues that weight loss is NOT going to solve.
- Are you doing it for yourself?
- Do you want to set a goal and reach it?
- Do you truly feel like you’ll be lighter, more energized, feel better overall if you focused on your fitness and nutrition routine for some time?
ALSO – Do you actually have time and space to focus on fitness and health? Planning a wedding is a BIG task, and you don’t want to start stressing out about weight loss on TOP of all the other stress you’re already feeling.
Do what makes you happy and make your decision based on how YOU want to feel, not what others think. If a wedding inspires you to starting going to the gym and eating healthier, by all means use that momentum. Focus on FEELING good in your body. If the scale is triggering for you, find other ways to measure your progress.
AND REMEMBER: Your guests are there FOR YOU. These people do not CARE what your body looks like. If they are critical people, they are going to criticize your body at all sizes. The purpose of this event is for YOU and your fiancée to feel good and celebrate your marriage. You cannot feel good on your big day if you are constantly obsessing about your weight.
HOW MUCH WEIGHT IS REALISTIC TO LOSE?
If you do decide to pursue weight loss before a wedding, it’s important to have realistic expectations and not crash-diet, ruin your metabolism, or re-bound.
For my fat loss clients, I aim for 1lb a week ON AVERAGE. However this is an average. It REALLY depends on your body size, body fat percentage, and more. If you want to work with me you can apply here: https://deegautham.typeform.com/to/kGklLt
I suggest utilizing a flexible dieting approach / tracking macros or using ‘meal templates’ to look at portion sizes. I do NOT suggest cutting out entire food groups (eg carbs), juice detoxes, other extreme methods – That is highly unnecessary, and will lead to a terrible relationship with food & metabolic damage.
WILL I BE DIETING BEFORE MY WEDDING?
I know that my friends truly do not care about my body size.
I know that my guests are there to celebrate me and Josh.
I know that I will feel best mentally when I am not obsessing about the size of my body.
I know that pictures will show the laughter, the joy, the fun that I had at my wedding without even thinking about my body size.
My wedding is in 11 months. Between now and then I’ll be moving my body in a way that I enjoy (competitive swimming!), eating food that makes me feel good, and let my body do it’s thing. If weight loss happens – it’s a neutral outcome. If it doesn’t – that’s also a neutral outcome. I truly have no emotions around this.
I know that I don’t need to physically be smaller in order to gain love, acceptance, and approval from people, and I want to focus on mentally feeling good on my big day.
Can you relate to this?? Tell me below!