5 Reasons you might be struggling to sell with confidence - Dee Gautham

Boss lady!

I know that when you go to sell yourself…

You’re SO confident in YOUR HEAD but when you say things OUT LOUD… That’s when it turns into an anxious puddle of nervous desperate energy.

Ladies: At the end of the day “selling” or pitching yourself should NOT feel hard or scary.

>> Make a thing that solves a problem. Tell people how it can solve their deep problem. Tell them it will cost this much to solve their deep problem your way. Receive money. The end <<

WE make selling all complicated in our heads. WE make it hard, anxious, stressful, painful, anxiety inducing.

If you can’t sell = You can’t help people or make money. If you can’t help people or make money= What are you doing in business?

After closing $100K+ in sales in under 8 months of my fitness business… I have learned a LOT about what it takes to sell, and close with CONFIDENCE. Here are my tips on why most female entrepreneurs struggle with sales and how YOU can avoid some of these pitfalls.

Most of them are mental. Here they are below. Do any of these sound familiar to you?? 

5 reasons why most female entrepreneurs struggle with sales:


1. You still feel awkward asking people for money or owning your greatness

This is the BIGGEST reason many female entrepreneurs fail to close sales in their business:

For whatever reason, you feel greedy / slimy / sleazy when you have to ask people for money.

You feel like you’re a bad person, you feel super awkward, you feel like you’re doing a terrible deed on the planet when you have to share your gifts with someone and actually ask for compensation for it.

You DREAD that moment on the call when the customer asks you “Well, how much is it?” and you have to cough and stutter “um…. well…. it’s…like…. $5,000….”

It scars your ears to say the price out loud.

You hold your breath, basically waiting for them to reject you.

Maybe you immediately start filling the conversation with fluff or starting to offer discounts “but um it’s totally ok if you say no! I also have payment plans available and I can totally give you a discount if you want it!” 

Word vomit.

You want to pass out and at this point. And really, you’ve already lost the sale.

Babe: If you can’t even say your price out loud with confidence, that is a problem.

If this is happening to you, it’s a mega warning sign that you still have a TON of limiting beliefs around money that you haven’t worked through yet.

Including some MEGA scarcity mindset beliefs (you feel like it’s a scarce resource and you’re taking it from people instead of abundant).

But also potentially:

>> Self worth issues, you feel like you’re not worth this much

>> Deserving issues, you feel like you don’t deserve money

>> Limiting beliefs around wealth, that being wealthy is the root of all evil, etc etc etc

I had a lot of these when I started out too. These fears used to PARALYZE me from getting on sales calls and totally tense up, word vomiting everywhere instead of pitching myself with confidence. It was not until I ACTIVELY worked to understand my mindset here that I was able to re-wire my beliefs for major success and wealth.

It is CRUCIAL that you understand and work through your limiting beliefs around MONEY if you want to make money.

This is obviously a bigger topic that we go into in 1:1 coaching, but a few quick re-frames for you reading this:

1. ABUNDANCE mindset all the way, girlfriend! Money is abundant in the world not a scarce resource. There is more than enough to go around and for everyone to have a big share of the pie. Money comes and goes, just like water. If you’re operating from a place of scarcity and desperation that WILL show.

2. Selling is helping and you’re never TAKING anything from anyone: If you believe in what you’re selling you’re NEVER taking anything from anyone: In fact you’re GIVING something to this person! You’re about to transform their LIFE in a mega way with yourself or your products! If you don’t believe that with every cell in your body… Re-think what you’re selling.

3. You can ONLY help them if you can sell them. So it is your DUTY to sell them and HELP THEM alleviate their problem.

And PS: people should ALWAYS be excited to buy from you. It should be a positive experience all around, and should NEVER cause you to feel anxious or awkward.


2. You go in to the conversation expecting them to say no.

Maybe you’ve been rejected in the past and don’t really expect people to say yes to you. Well: You get what you expect. If you expect people to reject you… They probably will. Thoughts become reality. You’ll act that way, carry yourself with the underlying belief that you’re most likely going to be rejected so you won’t even try 100%.

If you simply expect people to say yes, and come across with that confidence… People will read that energy.

Re-frame: Change your expectations. Even if you have been rejected a lot, what you EXPECT is all an internal state of mind. You CAN change this daily with the right mindset work to actively re-frame your beliefs around what you EXPECT and allow into your life.

ASK yourself:
>> How does my product make SUCH a big transformation in people’s lives?
>> How is their life going to be TOTALLY changed because of this?
>> Why is it my DUTY to help them with their problem?

3. You still feel uncomfortable receiving 

When someone gives you a complement and tells you you’re pretty… what do you immediately do?

Do you brush it off and feel awkward? “Oh no that’s not true!” Oh no I’m not pretty! I’m so ugly! OMG shut up!

Or do you OWN it? “Thank you! I appreciate that!” 

If you brush it off = Chances are, you need to work on your RECEIVING muscle.

Most of us are GIVERS: We give a lot of energy to the world… But we don’t receive. We feel awkward receiving, like:
>> We don’t deserve this!
>> It’s bad to take from other people!
>> We can’t possibly receive this much! Things can’t possibly be this good!

Maybe you’ve learned this from seeing your mom or other self-less women just give give give. Cool. Are they millionaires? Did that habit lead them to the success level you want to reach?

If you want to really be successful, you have to learn this: You have special gifts to share with the world. But you cannot GIVE them to the world if you don’t RECEIVE energy back.

>> If you’re not supported in ALL areas of your life (financial, physical, spiritual, emotional, sexual) = You will not be able to GIVE your gifts to the world with the deep power inside you.  <<

Practice your receiving muscle. Practice not feeling guilty about receiving: 

Go to the mall and buy something nice, without feeling guilty about spending money on yourself

When someone gives you a complement, take it graciously.

When you receive a gift, actively fill your body with a warm, cozy feeling all over it (this creates the safety sensation in your body + reminds your brain that RECEIVING is safe feeling, not a disconcerting ‘unsafe’ situation to protect you from)!!


4. Your desperate, nervous energy shows

At the end of the day, if you don’t truly believe in yourself or what you’re selling –> Other people won’t either.

People can smell your bullshit.

Figure out why you’re super anxious:

Are you desperate? Are you attaching your self worth to this outcome? Are you SO needy on this and if it doesn’t happen you’re going to feel like a total failure in life?


  • Separate your self-worth from this out come. OWN your confidence: Make a “success list”: A list of all your CAPABILITIES, talents, and accomplishments that make you who you are REGARDLESS of whether this outcome happens or now.
  • Detatch. Yes, you obviously expect your desired results to happen but also you’re totally ok and fine as a person if they don’t. Detach detach detach detach. You are a whole and complete human regardless.
  • Again, think ABUNDANCE not scarcity: What is your desired outcome? Why? What are the FEELINGS you’re going to get from this outcome?? Find 10 other ways to get those feelings that you could achieve now. These feelings are abundant and available to you now, not something you have to be needy about this exact outcome for.

ALSO: If you are asking people to make a big investment in YOU, but YOU have never actually made a big investment in yourself… That is going to show! 

If you want people to invest in YOU, YOU have to be investing in YOURSELF! It’s crazy to me how many people don’t realize this.


5. You’re selling the PLANE not the DESTINATION. 

This is the #1 mistake I see almost every SINGLE female entrepreneur do: Whether you’re selling a product, or service, or pitching yourself to an investor or company.

You sell the PLANE, not the DESTINATION.

Look: People want to escape the freezing winter weather and go on a vacation to the beach in Fiji.

They don’t really care about how many fuel tanks the plane has or what color the seats are or what brand of coffee the plane is going to serve.

They just want to be certain that they are going to escape the snow and go to Fiji.

Similarly: People don’t really care how many modules your course has or how many months you spent working on this project on your resume or every intricate detail of your workout plan.

People care that you can solve their immediate PAIN:

>> Help them look beautiful in a bikini again.
>> S
top being broke and make more money.
>> Stop being single and solve their relationship problems.
>> Stop feeling like an idiot in their department and get promoted. 

People want something that’s going to be EASY. Simple. Not complicated. Not intrusive to their lifestyle.

Spend 90% of the conversation letting your customer talk and learning about their pain.

And maybe 10% of your time talking about “how” you’re going to solve their pain with your plan.

And always remember: People NEVER BUY THINGS. They buy their way OUT of things, especially if you’re selling high ticket. 

What is the THING your customer is trying to buy their way out of?

>> If you’re pitching to a brand, what is the THING that this brand wants that YOU and only YOU can provide?

We’re not talking surface-level pain. We are talking deep, deep, deep primal human pain.

If you don’t have the confidence to go that deep with someone –> Work on that. This is the only way to sell high ticket products. We can work on that together in 1:1 coaching.

PS: Make sure you’re in the FEARLESS BOSS LADIES group for more tips and LIVE sessions on how to SELL with CONFIDENCE! CLICK HERE to join:




After closing 100K+ in sales in my fitness coaching business in less than 8 months… You can say I know what it takes to sell. High ticket, low ticket, mid-range, I have sold it all, and done so with total heart, flow, and ease and ZERO sleazy marketing tactics. I also know that SALES / PITCHING is THE SINGLE biggest skill that MOST female entrepreneurs struggle with… and what keeps most female entrepreneurs broke + stuck + settling in what they are capable of making.

If you don’t know how to sell = you cannot run a business. Plain and simple. 

I’m running an 8 week coaching program for 1% female entrepreneurs to dramatically increase your income, influence, and sales confidence. I have not announced this publicly yet but will only be taking 10 people for this (2 spots are already filled).

If you’re interested in the early bird access + discount, submit your email here and I’ll send you all the details before I announce it publicly: https://deegautham.typeform.com/to/tq6OX5



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